Mission: Improbable
by pebbles1234
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow, Mr Willy Wonka and Mort Rainey. Three unaquainted men, one mission: to save one of their own. Failure to do so will result in immediate failure to exist.
1. Three unaquainted men

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, Secret Window, or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, or the Mission: Impossible references**

_If this story res_e_mbles any others it is purely coincidental._

Mission: Improbable

Three unacquainted men must meet to stop the world as they know it from collapsing. They have to save their own identities by saving one of them.

Time: Unknown - Place: Somewhere in the Caribbean

Captain Jack Sparrow picked up the spyglass that flew in his porthole and looked through it. A strange image appeared on the glass.

"_Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to save one of you. Your teammates have been chosen for you. You are to be on deck at sunrise tomorrow. You may bring one person with you. Failure of you to do so would result in failure of you to live. Yet you still have a choice to choose this mission."_

Jack looked in the thing as the picture of a boat rocked on the glass he was looking into. It actually made him a little seasick, yet the boat kept on rocking, and the man kept on talking.

"_This message will self destruct in five seconds, or how long it takes you to drink a bottle of rum." _

The image of the boat blew up and Jack quickly threw the thing out the porthole. He watched as it self destructed in mid air.

He made his eyes big, drew his head back and stroked his beaded beard. Tomorrow would prove to be an interesting day.

Time: Still Unknown - Place: Either America or London, noone is quite sure.

Mr Willy Wonka took the large glasses handed to him by the small Oompa Loompa.

"Thank you." The little man nodded in response.

The candy maker put the glasses on, and was shocked when the glasses turned into a TV, he wondered why he didn't invent something like that. Oh yeah, it didn't involve chocolate.

Willy saw a plump short man deliver a message to him.

"_Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save one of you. Be standing in front of your factory at sunrise tomorrow. You may bring one person with you. Your other teammates have been chosen for you. If you should fail to do so, you will fail to exist. This message will self destruct in five seconds." _

Willy quickly took the glasses off and watched at they exploded dangerously close to him. He wondered what he would need to pack for a mission.

Time: 2004 - Place: Tashmore Lake

Mort Rainey was sitting at his computer when a picture of a talking dog came on the screen.

"_Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save one of your own. You may bring along your other personality. Be standing in front of your house at sunrise._ _Failure to do so would result in you death. This message will self destruct in five seconds." _

Mort Rainey quickly grabbed his last cigarette and ran from his computer which quickly blew up.

"Shit."


	2. On deck, Outside the factory and cabin

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean I, II or II, nor do I own Secret Window, Charlie and the Chocolate factory or the numerous Mission: Impossible references. **

Chapter 2

On deck, Outside the Factory and Outside the Cabin

Time: Five till Sunrise - Place: Aboard the Black Pearl, in the Caribbean

Captain Jack Sparrow, bottle of rum in hand, decided who he was going to bring along on his mission. He smiled and quietly made his way to their cabin.

He silently opened the door and stood in front of their bed. "Good morning love."

Elizabeth Swann quickly pulled the covers around her, "Jack! What are you doing in here?"

"I need you to join me on deck."

"At this hour?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'll meet you up there, let me change."

"Wear something comfortable, even though I prefer a dress, or no dress, whatever the case may be." He smirked.

"Jack.."

"Alright love, I'll see you in a moment."

Captain Sparrow swayed his way to the deck and was horrified to find young William there.

"What are you doing here?"

"Thinking, Jack, if that's alright with you."

"No it isn't, go to your cabin, read, dream, drink, just don't think especially up here."

"Jack what are you trying to hide from me?"

Before he could answer Elizabeth came on deck. Jack rolled his eyes and hoped sunrise would come later than usual.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing up here?"

"Jack asked me to come, what about you?"

"I was just thinking."

"Great, now you both know why you're here, Will, leave."

"Why, so you can have Elizabeth to yourself?"

"No, so..."

Before he could finish his thought, a blinding light overcame the deck of the Pearl and all Captain Sparrow could think of was how much he didn't want the whelp to come along.

Time: Just Before Sunrise - Place: Will always be unknown England or America?

Mr Willy Wonka made his way to the Bucket's house, which was conveniently located in his chocolate room. He told Charlie to pack the night before, and he had his own suitcase in tow.

When he exited the great glass elevator he put down his suitcase and put a piece of masking tape on the door so he wouldn't run into it, again.

Charlie was so excited about their future adventure he was waiting on the stoop with his bag.

"Good morning Charlie."

"Good morning Mr Wonka, are you ready to leave."

"Yeah, we'll just step into the elevator here."

Mr Wonka was a little more than agitated about having to remove his masking tape so early, if he had known Charlie was waiting he would have waited in the elevator.

When they were both safely inside Willy debated about which button to push. He finally decided on 'up and out', he really enjoyed it the first time.

"Hang on Charlie."

The young boy steadied himself and tried to keep his early breakfast from coming up, which was a hard thing to do considering the increasing speed of the elevator.

Breaking through the factory roof wasn't as fun the second time, now Mr Wonka only thought about the cost of repairs.

Willy panicked as he saw a hint of the sun before he fully landed. With the sun came a bright light, and the riders of the great glass elevator were in for the adventure of their lives.

Time: Before Sunrise in 2004 - Place - A lone cabin in Tashmore lakes

Mort Rainey knew he would never wake before sunrise, so he stayed outside his cabin all night with that last cigarette in his hand, trying to convince himself he didn't smoke.

He wondered what the hell this was all about, why his computer would suddenly talk to him, and why it would decide to blow the hell up.

He never liked anything that did with the word mission. He found the books to be mediocre and the movies he thought lacked something.

He didn't know why he was out here, he didn't even have proof about what he saw. Well, except for a blown up computer.

But the blown up computer didn't really mean anything, a lot of things had been happening lately that he no idea about how they happened.

Maybe the computer was like one of them. Maybe he was sleeping and while he was sleeping someone came in his cabin, blew his computer up, and as a result he dreamed about it.

That was it. He put the last cigarette in his mouth and just as he was about to go inside for a quick smoke and a long nap the sun peeked over the trees and Mort Rainey was surrounded by a rather white light.


	3. The Beginning

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean I, II or II, nor do I own Secret Window, Charlie and the Chocolate factory or the numerous Mission: Impossible references.**

Chapter 3

The Beginning

The six people just looked at each other. There was really nothing else to do. They were in a room that was all white with no apparent walls, floor or ceiling, they were just there, all arriving at the same time and just staring at each other.

The silence was broken by one Will Turner. "Where are we?" Jack rolled his eyes, sat down on what he hoped was the floor and pulled out a small bottle of rum he put in his pocket.

"You really shouldn't drink in front of children. It's not conducive to a drug free atmosphere."

Jack swaggered over to the candy maker and got a little too close to him for Mr Wonka's comfort. "Sorry mate I didn't hear you, Now what did you say?"

"Nothing." "Good." The Captain swayed back to his spot and sat down.

Mort Rainey adjusted his glasses and tattered housecoat and also took a seat. He wondered if this was one of his Jack Daniels' inspired dreams. He decided just to wait it through. He prayed to God no one would talk to him.

"Maybe we should all introduce ourselves." Charlie Bucket was a nice boy, and made the boyish mistake of thinking everyone was like him, friendly.

"I'm Charlie Bucket." Every one just kept staring so Mr Wonka decided to help his friend. "And I'm Willy Wonka the amazing chocolatier."

Elizabeth thought it best to be civil so she took her turn, "I'm Elizabeth Swann."

"Will Turner." It was now up to the reclusive author and the drunken pirate.

Neither took the opportunity, so Elizabeth took it for them. "And the man on the floor with a bottle of rum is Captain Jack Sparrow."

They all looked at Mort, who somehow had found a cigarette in his pocket and was now looking for a light. He stopped feeling his pockets when he felt eyes on him.

"What?" "Just tell us all your name, Savvy?" Jack just wanted to get this whole bloody thing over with so he could go back to the Pearl and an endless supply of rum.

"What the hell does savvy mean?"

"I really do wish it you would watch your language, it's not nice to use bad words in front of children and adults who are adverse to it."

Mort's mouth opened with the realization that he was in a room with a bunch of nuts. He wondered what person over the age of 20 would use the term 'bad words' and then he realized he was talking about a man with a bob haircut and a purple top hat.

"It means understand, so your name mate?"

He sighed in defeat and muttered, "Mort Rainey."

They all immediately turned their attention towards a figure that entered the room. It was a shadow more of a figure and each of the party anxiously awaited for it to do or say something.


	4. The Beginning of the Middle

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean I, II or II, nor do I own Secret Window, Charlie and the Chocolate factory or the numerous Mission: Impossible references. Nor do I own the Twilight Zone quote.**

_I apologize for incredible amount of time it took for me to update. I have been thinking about this story and I cannot figure out what to do. Originally I was going to have the characters go on a mission to save Edward Scissorhands, then I briefly thought about Don Juan De Marco, but after watching Sweeney Todd I thought he might be interesting. Or perhaps I could include all three somehow. Any suggestions would be extremely appreciated. Thank you for reading, and without further ado:_

Chapter 4

The Beginning of the Middle

The shadow moved about the room inspecting all of its inhabitants. Once the figure had made its rounds it stopped in front of Jack.

The shadow appeared to Jack as a very large empty bottle of rum. Jack gasped. "Not the rum."

Everyone else looked at him strangely because to them it was still a shadow.

"I thought you were instructed to only bring one companion, Captain Sparrow."

"I was, and I had every intention of doing just that. However, the whelp there insisted on coming."

Captain Sparrow leaned in close to what he thought would be the bottle's ear. "I'd punish him if I were you mate. Take him away."

Will looked at Jack with a hatred that burned like the fire of a thousand suns.

The bottle turned back into a shadow and moved to what could have been the front of the room in order to address everybody.

He then materialized (to all) into a short man with a butler's attire. He had no hair whatsoever and a monocle in his right eye.

"Thank you all for coming. You have all been summoned here to rescue one of your own. You will be forced to enter a world not of sight, not of sound, but of mind."

Mort tried to remember if he watched any reruns of the Twilight Zone on cable last night.

"You have been handpicked from a variety of characters for a particular reason. Captain Sparrow has been chosen for his navigation skills and incredible charm."

Jack smirked and pointed his forefinger at himself.

"Mort Rainey had been chosen because of his imagination, lack of need for real food, and because he is able to take on the personality of others, you will find this either proves to be extremely helpful or extremely homicidal."

Mort was now positive this was a dream. He put his cigarette in his mouth and found a matchbook in his housecoat pocket.

Just as he was about to light it, it was snatched away from between his lips by everyone's favorite candy maker.

"Cigarettes can lead to lung cancer, yellow teeth, smelly clothes, and are not conducive to a smoke free atmosphere." He smiled his ever so perfect smile and giggled nervously.

Mort was angered. So he laid down for a nap. So, while Mort was sleeping, Mr. John Shooter decided to take out his revenge upon one Mr. Willy Wonka.

Shooter walked up to Willy and took Mort's cigarette back for him. "Now, it ain't nice to take things that aren't yours, so's I'll just be returning this to its rightful owner. Have a nice day now."

Willy watched as Mr. Shooter laid down. Two seconds later Mort woke up. He looked at Mr. Wonka.

"Why'd you give me my cigarette back, I thought they caused lung clothes, or smelly teeth."

Willy walked back over to Charlie before he answered. "Yeah, that's only in some countries, in this land of blank space smoking is conducive to a non split personality atmosphere." He gave his best nervous smile.

The three pirates, and Charlie watched Mort with a hint of amusement and fear.

Mort finally got his first puff of smoke and looked back at the shadow.

"So why did you pick the figment of my incredibly drunk imagination with a top hat and purple tailcoat?"

"Mr. Wonka was picked because of his ability to deceive practically anyone. Or madden them to the point that they don't care if they were right or not."

"Now gentlemen, young man, and young woman, here are your instructions."


End file.
